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Who is Krampus?

11/11/2019

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The elves think I'm nuts for believing in Krampus, but he is real. Candi swears he's just a made up story that mom and dads use to scare kids into behaving for Christmas, like Santa Claus. Except, Santa is real, of course.
I mean, Krampus is also real...I've just never seen him.
​He's a Christmas demon, who goes around punishing Naughty children. He's got clawed hands, a long slithery tongue, one goat leg, one human leg, horns out to here, a long tail and hairy as all get out. He's so cool!
Candi thinks that if he were real, that he must be evil--but I don't think so. Maybe he does punish them with a switch and a rod, but that's got to be a more effective punishment than a lump of coal. A lump of coal? Whoop-de-doo! And sometimes, Santa doesn't even do that much. He's a bit stingy with the coal, if you ask me.
But that's all Krampus is doing...punishing the Naughty kids. Teaching them a lesson. Making sure the kids end up on the right list next year. And that is pretty darn cool.
I even put his name on the back of my work vest. And the bells on my shoes have devil horns. And, even though everyone insists on calling my Jackie Rumpus, I changed the nameplate on my door to JACK KRUMPUS.
He's my hero.
I keep asking Santa to grant me that one wish every year--to meet my hero. But Santa ignores me. I've even asked him a few times if he's real or pretend, but Santa won't discuss it. Tells me I should worry less on Krampus and more on the toys I should be making. But I hate making toys. And I hate the cold. And red. And green. Maybe I just belong to a "darker" side of Christmas?
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